Partings
If she had imagined it for a story, she would have made it a dimly lit setting, maybe the dusk-when the day ends only to leave darkness and shadows. But it wasn’t imagined, it was real, the sun wasn’t setting but it was an afternoon, though cold and misty.
There weren’t many things left to be said, by now. They were clear unlike the afternoon, in his head and in her heart. She often played with her cell phone, to distract herself from the heavy thoughts, keeping her brown eyes at it, for she was afraid a drop would steer down if she’d move them too much. He on the other hand, stared into abyss, stealing a quick glance of her face from time to time. He was afraid she would cry.
What could he say? What would she want to hear? He kept on thinking to himself about the times that had gone. She wished there were better times for them.
Soon, the silence was disrupted by the rattle of the rain drops on the red tin roof. She looked at the clock, it had been an hour.
‘Are you ever going to speak?’ she managed to keep her voice low.
‘Would it matter what I say now. It’s my fate and I’ve resigned to it’, he said looking out of the window for a change.
You’re such a coward, she said, picking up her bag.
As she made it to the exit, he rested his head in his palms. I would live with this; he thought to himself, finally feeling an uneasy comfortableness, something which he didn’t know what to name.
‘Fight for me’, she chanted the three words innumerable times under her breath and crossed the door.
A raindrop settled on her cheek bone.
Aah such a nice build up with a very good ending line “fight for me”
But hang on, why should he fight for her?
you create an atmosphere.. as if we are really there witnessing these episodes.. which make simple occurrences appear so very poignent .. I had to pause and wonder .. the last line was masterstroke “A raindrop settled on her cheek bone.”
and no one fights for us
Its nicely written,,,
this is painful. I am just glad someone out there has not given up on me yet.
with the ending you lay a hand on my heart..& i hope he does fight for her.
@ aniruddha
why not?
@aria
thanks. I live the story in my mind, i somehow have to. and its not a blessing, frankly.
@AD
@ swati di
thanks
@Raaji
u are blessed then!
@ wildflower…
thanks! I wish that too
Really good. Good detailing. The picture comes alive.
“why would anyone fight 4 someone who has made up her mind 2 leave???
that was the 1st reaction that came 2 my mind when i read it…when i broke up with my ex, it seems she wanted me 2 force her 2 stay…i didn’t see the point then…n i don’t see the point now…u gotta say what u feel…most ppl aren’t mind guessers!
nice story though…liked the way u described the details…n after a long time i read a post that evoked a strong reaction from me…keep writing gypsy
Hey Reema, thanks!
thanks for ur reactions blunt edges. I dont mind stark reactions until they come from the heart.
You are right people cant read minds. But there are a few always, we think know us bloody well. Then the spoken words are unsaid.
why cant she fight on her own? She aint strong enough?
Touching!!